Top 10 Homer Simpson Quotes

In honor of the opening of "The Simpsons" movie on Friday, I give you my abitrary top 10 list of classic Homer quotes.

1. "Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's-His-Name?"

2. (Looking at Uruguay on a globe) "Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'"

3. "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over 50 and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'"

4. "When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power — like God must feel when he’s holding a gun."

5. "Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene.'"

6. "Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

7. "Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?"

8. "Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?"

9. "Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening."

10. "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals — except the weasel."

(Jorge Sosa is a staff writer for the Hutchinson Leader. He can be reached at sosa@hutchinsonleader.com)