The top five Halloween party movies

Mutant zombies and machine-gun legs:
'Planet Terror' is fine entertainmentHalloween is just around the corner, and if you’re too old to trick-or-treat, you can partake of another time-honored tradition: Dressing up like a freak, hanging out with your friends and watching scary movies (If you’re 21 or over, there might even be some beer involved).

As a diehard horror movie buff, I can tell you right now that some scary movies are better suited for party-watching than others. You don’t want to go with something that’s too disturbing (“Cannibal Holocaust”), too depressing (“28 Weeks Later”), or too slow-paced (“The Haunting”).

Here is my personal top five list of great Halloween party flicks. Most of them are not politically correct or family friendly, but they’re all lots of fun.

5. Dead Alive (1992)
Long before Peter Jackson was famous for the “Lord of the Rings” series, he co-wrote and directed this gory-but-hilarious zombie/action/love story. Lionel is a mild-mannered momma’s boy who meets Paquita, the girl of his dreams. Just before Lionel can make his move, his mom is bitten by a Sumatran rat monkey. She becomes a zombie and Lionel is caught between keeping his mom’s ravenous brain-eating tendencies in check and trying to impress his new sweetheart. This film holds the world record for the most fake blood used in a single movie, but it’s extremely over-the-top and slapstick. A karate-chopping priest gets one of the funniest lines uttered in any movie, ever.

4. The Fly (1986)
Filmmaker David Cronenberg has a reputation for making dark and demented flicks. His remake of the 1958 classic “The Fly” is probably his most accessible work. Seth is an eccentric scientist working to perfect a teleportation device. He invites Veronica, a whip-smart journalist, to document his progress. The two fall in love, but things go south when Seth experiments on himself and accidently mingles his DNA with that of a fly. “The Fly” buzzes with plenty of dark humor and is actually a touching romance, provided you can stomach the creepy visuals.

3. The Shining (1980)
Here’s another horror film that delivers plenty of wicked humor. This is not a yuk-a-minute comedy, but Jack Nicholson is so deliriously insane that you can’t help but laugh. He plays a man who’s hired to care for The Overlook, a hotel sequestered in the Colorado Rockies. He, his wife and his young son are snowed in together as The Overlook’s otherworldly guests come out to play.

2. The People Under the Stairs (1991)
Between “A Nightmare on Elm Street” and “Scream,” Wes Craven wrote and directed this underrated classic. Poindexter is an inner city kid whose family is on the verge of being evicted by their landlords, a creepy brother-and-sister pair. He and his friends devise a plan to break into the landlords’ home, in search of a fabled treasure of gold coins. They get waaaay more than they bargained for when they discover (you guessed it) the People Under the Stairs. This film plays out like a bloody version of “Home Alone,” with elements of the tale of Hansel and Gretel. It’s funny, frightening and obscure enough that most of your party guests probably haven’t seen it already.

1. Planet Terror (2007)
Filmmaker Robert Rodriguez assembles a rock-solid cast of A- and B-list talent in this all-out zombie apocalypse. “Planet Terror” never takes itself too seriously and has plenty of great one-liners and gags. It’s also the best movie about a lady who loses her leg and has it replaced with a machine gun that I’ve ever seen. Watch for a sweet "no-brainer" of a cameo by pop singer Fergie (of Black Eyed Peas fame).

(Jorge Sosa is a staff writer for the Hutchinson Leader. He can be reached at sosa@hutchinsonleader.com)