Twenty reasons why Pirates are the new Jedi

Why is the “Pirates of the Caribbean” trilogy the coolest action fantasy franchise since “Star Wars?” Because the POTC team learned from the best. They’re not plagiarists per se, but they sure borrowed a lot of winning elements from Lucas’ creation.

1. Will Turner begins as a humble blacksmith. Luke Skywalker begins as a humble farmboy.

2. Will has only been told half the truth about his father. Ditto Skywalker.

3. Both Will and Luke are pulled into adventure for love of a beautiful girl.

4. When we meet Han Solo, he’s a down-on-his-luck smuggler. Jack Sparrow is a down-on-his-luck pirate.

5. Han commands the Millenium Falcon, the fastest ship in the galaxy. Jack Sparrow commandeers the Interceptor, the fastest ship in the Caribbean.

6. Will leaves home for Tortuga, a lawless port city infested by pirates and prostitutes. Luke leaves home for Mos Eisley, a “wretched hive of scum and villiany” frequented by smugglers and spies.

7. Will makes his own sword. Luke constructs his own lightsaber.

8. Will discovers his father, Bootstrap Bill, was once a good man but is now enslaved by the evil Davy Jones. As time goes by Bootstrap becomes less and less human. Luke learns his father, Anakin Skywalker, was once a noble Jedi but is now enslaved by the evil Emperor Palpatine. Anakin, now known as Darth Vader, “is more machine than man now.”

9. Han has a price on his head and is pursued by the ruthless bounty hunter Boba Fett. Jack owes Davy Jones a blood debt and is pursued by the foul-breathed kraken.

10. Han is betrayed by his so-called friend Lando Calrissian, captured and frozen in carbonite. Jack is betrayed by his so-called friend Elizabeth Swann, swallowed by the kraken and stranded in Davy Jones’ Locker.

If you haven’t seen “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End,” be forewarned —here be spoilers.

11. Elizabeth immediately regrets the betrayal and vows to save Jack. Lando immediately regrets selling his friend out to the Empire (“This deal is getting worse all the time!”) and vows to save Han.

12. Our band of intrepid pirate heroes seeks an audience with Captain Sao Feng. They want to bargain for the navigational charts they need to find Jack and save his life. Our band of “Star Wars” heroes seeks an audience with Jabba the Hutt, seeking to bargain for Han Solo’s life.

13. Feng refuses, but our heroes have a super sneaky backup plan and they get what they want anyway. Jabba also turns our heroes down, but they save the day through subterfuge.

14. Lord Beckett hangs all pirates and their known associates, hoping the uproar will draw the nine Pirate Lords into his trap. Darth Vader tortures Luke’s friends, hoping to draw him into his trap.

15. With the Flying Dutchman at his command, Beckett’s armada is unstoppable. When the Death Star becomes fully operational, the Imperial fleet is also unstoppable.

16. The Dutchman’s only vulnerable point is the heart of Davy Jones. The Death Star’s only vulnerable point is its reactor core.

17. During a climactic special-effects-laden battle scene, the Rebels turn the tables on the Empire and send the villains to a fiery death. “Pirates 3” ends with a climactic battle scene and Beckett is consumed in a fiery explosion.

18. All throughout this trilogy, a parrot and monkey provide cutesy comic relief. In “Star Wars,” this job falls on the two droids.

19. Will fulfills his destiny by becoming a pirate. Luke fulfills his destiny by becoming a full-fledged Jedi Knight.

20. Will and Luke both save their fathers and make peace with the dark sides of their souls.

It’s only fair to note that “Star Wars” itself was not a wholly original story. George Lucas took inspiration from Westerns, Flash Gordon serials, Kurosawa films and mythological archetypes as old as storytelling itself. Does this “borrowing” amount to theft? Naw, just a bit of friendly piracy, mate!

(Jorge Sosa is a staff writer for the Hutchinson Leader. He can be reached at sosa@hutchinsonleader.com)