Help children understand emotions

By Kim Asche
University of Minnesota Extension
Regional Office, Hutchinson
Starting at a very young age, children feel all types of emotions. They know sadness, happiness, fear, anger and many other feelings. Emotions tell us how we feel about different situations. They push us into action and give us the energy to stop negative experiences and gain more positive experiences. Even though children feel these emotions, they don’t always understand them. And they may not know what to do with them when they feel them. Some would argue that being “Minnesota Nice” also teaches us to hold back our emotions.

Parents can help their children understand their emotions. This will help you teach children to understand some of their own emotions and show them how they can understand more about their feelings.

How Children Feel
Over time, children will feel all types of emotions. They may feel shocked and puzzled when there is a change in their family. Some children feel these emotions when they realize that they live with one parent while other children live with two parents. Children in shock may cry for no clear reason or they may withdraw from family or friends. They may try to think things out and ask lots of questions. In any case, children need help to understand that it is all right to talk about how they feel. And be sure to tell them what is happening.

Many children also feel anger, fear, guilt, shame and relief. They may be angry at their parents for changing their family life. Remember that if one parent moves out of the home or dies, children may fear that the other parent will also leave or die. In the case of divorce or death, children may feel that they caused the break-up of the family. They may feel that nothing would have happened if they had acted differently. Remind children that they didn’t cause the death or divorce. Some children may also be ashamed or embarrassed about their families. They may try to hide what is happening.